There are clearly two camps. 'Busy is good' camp and the 'If you're busy you're a loser' camp. The expression could be a bit more nuanced, but I don't think there's anything in between. For various reasons, both sides are right and wrong. Where do I want to go with this, actually just from pressure to happiness.
Personally, I am often (too) busy and wish that it would be different. Over the years I have been able to shape my work in such a way that I really really enjoy what I do, so I don't mind being 'busy' myself. But if I threaten to get too busy, I take a step back and use the Focus formula from Janneke de Geus. Because focus is my 'go to' when everything gets too much. Back to basics, what was the goal and why am I doing it again?
Janneke de Geus - the Focus Coach!
I would like to introduce you to Janneke de Geus. Janneke is a Focus coach and a very good one, I can confirm from my own experience. I once did the Focus formula with her and that is still a good grip. Here 's Janneke's take on 'being busy':
"I remember it like it was yesterday; I was devastated. After another broken night, crying was closer to me than laughing. When we became the happy mom and dad of three boys in four years, there were no pink clouds. A huge mountain of love, an equally large mountain of laundry and the longing for time to enjoy. I found it difficult to enjoy what I had, even though I really wanted to and I was super grateful for my men. But I was just on…”
Where did we go wrong...?
Every night we had to get out of bed at least three times to comfort a child. A child who was always itchy (so pathetic), a scary dream, thirst, woke up from brother dear… you name it.
And every time I jumped out of bed at the first sound. Without moaning or moaning. They needed me (roar.. said the lioness in me). Still, that wasn't what broke me.
Looking back, I see where it went wrong. Three boys in four years. 2 caesarean sections. A high sensitivity. A job of 3 days a week. And of course… a study next door. Because what is a person without a study? And not one next door, but in Zeist. We took for granted that this was a 2 hour journey in the woods. And we; those are me, myself and I.
Don't be fooled. Having and having children is stressful, let alone getting 3 in 4 years!
Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves?
*sigh* I had so much to myself. Not only was I busy, I put a lot of pressure on myself. Putting yourself under pressure; do you know that? And not just for a few days or months. Not just to write your book or finish your assignment, but constantly.
And why? Are we doing it for ourselves or for others?
Was combining my young family, my job, my education, my fast-paced life what I really wanted? Through all the hustle and bustle my feeling was tossed like the clapper of a deafening church bell. I did not know. I didn't feel my intuition, my 'knowing'.
My busy-busy-busy pattern was killing my inner GPS. I didn't feel IT anymore. I no longer felt what gave me energy and what not. What made me come into my own and what didn't. I didn't feel what I wanted.
The success indicator: from pressure to happiness!
The boys are now men, but I took the apprenticeship with me.
It's a natural temptation. That urge to want to do everything at once (now). Your job, your company, your kids, an education, friends, sports, travel, another education, a blog, a vlog, a digital product, being busy-busy-busy.
A kind of now or never feeling that beckons and draws and demands your attention.
And I have no doubt that you can. Surely. Although as a sensitive versatile woman you will feel that the speed does not always suit you and the pressure does not stimulate you.
But more than that; do you really come into your own? Are you able to go within and examine your beliefs? So that you can determine which beliefs no longer fit you. So you can replace them with beliefs that are much more fun and effective.
Tell me, are you really coming into your own?
Are you able to go in and feel what there is to feel? So you can start choosing which feelings you want to cultivate. And what recipe you can come up with for, for example, peace, or serenity, or creativity. Because for every emotion there is a recipe.
Our new mindset
Change starts with the choice to look at things differently. A new mindset. If we all now decide that PRESSURE is not the indicator, HAPPINESS is. And if we choose goals that revolve around growth, giving and happiness. And then set up a practical plan there. VERY PRACTICAL
Stay focused, stay tuned, Janneke.
About the author
Janneke is Focuscoach , mother of three grown men, loves black coffee and has been together with her support and rocker Jerry for 26 years. Her immense interest in how the brain works has led to what she is today: a very good focus coach! Someone who helps you with structure in your life, making a plan and above all... FOCUS!!