The 'seven year itch': myth or reality?

You’ve probably heard of it before: the famous (or infamous) “seven year itch.” This term, which originated in the 1950s, refers to the idea that relationships often reach their greatest challenge after seven years. Whether it’s romantic relationships, friendships, or even jobs, seven years seems like a symbolic turning point. But is this phenomenon real, or is it just a made-up excuse to move on? And what can you do to help your relationships thrive after those seven years instead of fizzling out? Read on!

Where does the 'seven year itch' come from?

The term was popularized in the 1955 film of the same name, The Seven Year Itch , in which Marilyn Monroe seduces a man who has been married for seven years and begins to have doubts about his marriage. Side note: this is also the film with the famous scene with Marilyn's blowing dress. Since then, it has become a common term to describe the natural routine and challenges of long-term relationships. In fact, research shows that many divorces occur around the sixth to eighth year of a marriage. But why is that?

The psychology behind the 'itch'

1. Routine and predictability
   After seven years together, many relationships seem to get stuck in routines. The initial excitement of love and newness gives way to daily habits. While stability is nice, the lack of excitement can leave you feeling rutted.

2. Life changes
   Seven years often marks a time in life when major changes occur, such as career choices, raising children, or personal growth. These changes can put pressure on a relationship.

3. Unfulfilled expectations
   In long-term relationships, partners sometimes discover that their expectations have not been fully met. This can lead to dissatisfaction or a desire for something different.

Is the 'seven year itch' a myth?

While the idea of ​​a magical seven-year turning point sounds romantic, there’s no hard science that fully supports the phenomenon. Relationship problems can arise at any time. Still, it’s understandable that being together for an extended period of time will come with challenges. It’s not so much about the exact number of years, but how you as a couple (or even in friendships or work relationships) handle change and growth.

How do you prevent the 'itch' from sabotaging your relationships?

Whether you're in a marriage that's approaching seven years old or a friendship that's feeling a little sluggish, there are ways to overcome the itch and make your relationships stronger.

1. Stay curious about each other

The danger of long-term relationships is that you think you know the other person inside and out. But people keep changing. Ask questions, show genuine interest and discover new sides of your partner or friend.

2. Break routines

Nothing kills you like a rut. Plan adventures together, whether it’s a weekend getaway, a new hobby, or an unexpected date night. Breaking habits will bring a breath of fresh air into your relationship.

3. Communicate openly and honestly

Many frustrations arise from miscommunication or avoiding difficult conversations. Make sure you create space to talk openly about wishes, fears and possible irritations.

4. Invest in yourself and each other

While spending time together is important, it is equally essential to continue to develop yourself. Keep working on your own passions and give each other space to grow individually. This will create a healthy balance in your relationship.

5. Cherish small gestures

Often it is the little things that make a big difference. An unexpected compliment, a card or a simple hug can help to strengthen the bond.

The positive side of the 'itch'

Although the 'seven year itch' often has a negative connotation, it can also be an opportunity. It is a moment of reflection: how is the relationship doing, what have you achieved together, and how can you grow further? By consciously considering these questions, you can make a fresh start together.

Do you feel a slight 'itch' in your relationship, friendship or work?

Don’t see it as a problem, but as an opportunity to grow. Take a moment to think about what you value in the other person and how you can strengthen your bond. A small step today can make all the difference for a lifetime of happiness together. So: what can you do today to give your relationship, friendship or work a new boost? Take that step and enjoy what you have together!